Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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