KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
