some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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