Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
