He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize