i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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