allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
