We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
