Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
