So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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