Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I queefed so loud it echoed.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
