She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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