mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he fucked my hip out of place.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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