Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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