So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
