everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize