I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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