I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
