i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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