Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
