these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
