Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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