its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
