so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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