She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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