It's Friday. Sex?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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