Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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