Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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