Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
