In the future we'll all be gay
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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