If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
