Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
