The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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