he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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