Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
