I am puke
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
