does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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