If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize