Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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