Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
