doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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