therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
