I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
