I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize