hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
