We named our party play list daddy issues
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize