haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
