she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
