Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
