When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
