I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
