Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
