Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
there is glitter all over my balls
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
