i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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