waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
