its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
