bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
