i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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