Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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