your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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