38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
