Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
