It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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