I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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