Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
a search helicopter?!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
