Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
