Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I believe in your delicious
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
